How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
Randomize
