Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Randomize
