My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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