Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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