You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Randomize