I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
