mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
i just made my gag reflex go away.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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