i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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