Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
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