it's like her boobs came off with her bra
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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