What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
Butt Stuff 2016 unites us all
Randomize
