can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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