My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Randomize
