I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
Randomize
