I want to make a zoo with you.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
