Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Randomize
