Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
is wine microwaveable?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Randomize
