i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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