my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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