Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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