youre lurking in front of me
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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