Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
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