It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Soap is not a condiment
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
