did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
