There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize