With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
