So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
Randomize
