we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
