I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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