lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Just let me put on a bra and brush the alcohol out of my hair.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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