i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Randomize
