this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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