anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
