Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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