you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
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