There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
