Soap is not a condiment
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
