I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
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