For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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