You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
