small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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