Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Randomize