This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
I like that you're Jewish, because you can rail me on Christmas Eve and it won't be weird.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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