Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Randomize
