i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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