Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
