K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
apparently domino's not only has a live feed of pizzas coming out of the oven, but it also has a built in smooth jazz radio station. this pizza's getting really pornographic really fast.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
