Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
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