im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
