I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
My uncle showed up to pick us up at the bar just as I bought a drink so I put it in my pocket #drunksmart
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
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