Is it normal to miss your booty call?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
Randomize
