The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
So we are in the middle of sex and his brother knocks on the door and says "dude I just wanted to know if you want to see the fish I got tonight"
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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