Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
