Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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