I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
