Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
I wish I only lived at night.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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