Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
This baby is an asshole
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
literally just tried sending to someone a video of me jerkin but my phone was connected to Apple TV and it literally just played on the tv in a full room and I'm actually about to shit myself
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize