Swine flu. Run for my life!
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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