So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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