Dude wtf I'm sitting behind some girl in class who is creeping on my facebook page. I don't even know who she is..
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
You can't just leave with hair like that
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
