no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
i'm too stoned to be pregnant. the kicking is morse code for wanting beef jerky.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
